Abashed

He wanted to meet her the moment he first heard her play. That was unusual for him as he rarely wanted to talk with anyone. It wasn’t that others didn’t want to talk to him, in fact they sought him out. He just didn’t enjoy the banter, the good natured but nevertheless uncomfortable chatter. It exhausted him more than anything else. He preferred to be apart, to avoid them, but politely avoiding people was hard work to.

She played a piece he knew well, it had been the turning point for him. It perplexed him that it sounded so right. His brother was sitting next to him so he reached over and touched his arm. As his brother leant over to him he whispered hesitantly into the air between them, ‘Do you think we could meet her?’

‘I suppose, but she is probably going to have lots of people around her, particularly tonight.’ He whispered back. ‘You sure?’ He nodded back slowly, assuming that his brother would understand.

‘Alright then, lets see who we must.’ His brother said and then added, ‘ We will go after the last act.’

They sat there without saying anything more. Him fidgeting with his glasses and his brother more than a little amused. Immediately after the last act was finished they were up from their aisle seats and heading out to the foyer. His brother made a quick call to his manager backstage. It was only a few minutes before his manager met them out front.

‘So, what is it guys?’ His manager asked. He already knew but he wanted to hear it for himself.

‘Not my story to tell.’ Said his brother looking from the manager to him.

‘I want to meet her’. He said. ‘How do we do that?’

‘It’s easy, we walk back there and I introduce you.’ Replied his manager carefully. ‘Are you sure you want that?’

He nodded. The three of them headed to the backstage entrance. Just before they got there his manager ducked in front of them to open the door. Within moments of the door opening the noise backstage ceased. The silence lasted only half a minute before cheers and clapping broke out. It started just in front of them, nervously, hesitantly.  Others joined in, sharing the joy with those who had first seen him. Then they took the welcome to a whole new level and there was nothing for it but to graciously accept. It wasn’t unexpected, but it was never what he wanted.

His manager stood in front of them with his arms open toward everyone. He let the noise rise and then finally fall.

‘Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your kind welcome. As you know, it has been a very long time since he has been back here. I have no doubt that you all knew he was here tonight, as he is every opening performance. I also have no doubt that you didn’t expect to see him. Although you all have much to say to him I ask you to be patient and let him pass. He will greatly appreciate your understanding.’ His manager stated warmly but firmly.

Indicating the way forward his brother and manager slowly lead him off. All eyes turned and followed them. He felt embarrassed by what had passed. He knew he should be elated but, with no meanness meant, he would rather not be subjected to so many people gathering around him. He was ashamed of his selfishness. He half nodded to no one in particular, stemmed his discomfit and tried a smile. He hoped it was a smile.

It was only a short walk before his manager stopped, he knew that they must be at her dressing room door. His face must show his embarrassment – how could he meet her, she would see it all. It was going to be a waste of effort, a terrible mistake.

His manager knocked on the door discretely. They waited. He thought that her dresser or manager would open it. But they didn’t, she did. His manager introduced them and, with her permission, he ushered them in. His manager and his brother then left them after seating him in a chair.

‘I apologise for this intrusion.’ He said to her but really he was saying it to the world in general. ‘I find such meetings quite uncomfortable and no doubt you might feel the same? Please forgive me for my forwardness.’

There was no sound but he could feel her presence. He waited. He had to fill the silence. ‘Have I offended you?’ He asked. Still nothing. 

Then she asked, ‘Please keep speaking as I am not sure which chair you are in.’

‘Are you blind?’ He said.

‘Yes, and more than a little embarrassed to meet you and rather ashamed at my lack of preparedness’. She then added, ‘ I am totally flustered and it must show in my face.’

‘Not that I can see.’ He said quietly.

‘You disapprove of my performance?’ She asked.

‘You did me a great honour, I never could have played it like that. It was as if I heard it for the first time. You left me humbled.’

And so the real, rather than the polite, conversation started. A great and a soon to be great, it was easy between them. It would be that way from then on because they gave each other a rare gift. 

They were not abashed with each other, as they both were with everyone else, about trading the gift of sight for their talent.